Dealing with Remorse or Regret
Cont’d from page 2
[31:22] Those who submit completely to GOD, while leading a righteous life, have gotten hold of the strongest bond. For GOD is in full control of all things.
[4:126] To GOD belongs everything in the heavens and the earth. GOD is in full control of all things.
[39:62] GOD is the Creator of all things, and He is in full control of all things.
[57:5] To Him belongs the kingship of the heavens and the earth. All matters are controlled by GOD.
[57:22-3] Anything that happens on earth, or to you, has already been recorded, even before the creation. This is easy for GOD to do. Thus, you should not grieve over anything you miss, nor be proud of anything He has bestowed upon you. GOD does not love those who are boastful, proud.
"They keep their chastity. (They have relations) only with their spouses or what is legally theirs. Anyone who transgresses these limits is a sinner." (70:29-31)
The dictionary defines chastity as "The moral excellence of an individual manifested by not indulging in unlawful sexual activity and being pure, decent and modest in nature and behavior.” The definition is very clear and easy to understand, and it explains the above verses aptly.
In the past few decades our society has undergone complete moral decay. Alcoholism, drugs and free sex are rampant. We are raising our children in this society and we have to teach them that the only laws that rule the world are God's laws and that breaking His
laws will cost them a lot of misery and problems:
As for the one who disregards My message, he will have a miserable life, and we will resurrect him on the Day of Resurrection, blind. (20:124)
THE PARENTS SHOULD SET THE EXAMPLE FOR THE CHILDREN
We have to teach our children to judge themselves according to the criteria set forth in the Quran, and they can learn this only by our setting the correct examples for them to follow.
The observation of a loving and considerate relationship between parents who are obeying God's commandments is the most effective teaching method. Our aim for our children should be for the development of a believing, mature, dependable and chaste adult who is prepared to enter into a lasting, happy monogamous marriage and become a responsible parent.
God knows us better than we know ourselves. After all, He created us. He knows what is good and what is bad for us. If we realize the full implications of this statement, then it becomes easy to obey His laws without question. The unhappiness that we accrue by disobeying them therefore becomes a consequence of our own actions, and this is reflected in this life and in the hereafter:
Anything good that happens to you is from God and anything bad that happens to you is from you. (4:79)
Even though children reach puberty around 12 years of age, it takes another 10-12 years to grow and mature in mind and body, thought and action, to be able to enter into a lasting relationship. This period of adolescence is the most difficult period of growing up. They are not ready physiologically and anatomically.
There is no need to worry though; you just do your part and place everything in God's hands. You cannot be with them all the time, but God chaperones
the children of the believers, wherever they are, being subjected to all the temptations of this society. God's protection is complete.
So exhort the children—boys and girls —not to have sexual relations till they get married. It is very difficult to be a father and a mother and talk to your children about sex, but if you use the Quran and explain to them that this is what God says, then God will help you and protect them.
THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR BREAKING GOD'S COMMANDMENTS
Emphasize to your children that they will have to exert a lot of self control. This is not very easy for them because the temptation is so great, but this is the only way to attain perfect happiness. Disobeying God's laws has terrible consequences: Abortions, incurable genital herpes, human papilloma virus causing cervical cancer, syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and AIDS.
Our children are special people. They are not like other children because they are very educated about God's laws. Therefore, it will be easy for them to follow God's commandments stated in 70:29-31 above. These verses command our children to remain virgins until their wedding night, then staying loyal to their spouse - never committing adultery - for the sake of their own happiness.
Marriage is a divine institution. God's advice to keep our chastity before and after marriage is for our own good. Finally, always remember that God is the one who controls our health, our wealth, our happiness and our misery:
He is the One who makes you laugh or cry. He is the One who makes you rich or poor. (53:43,48)
Therefore, if we teach our children to stay in God's kingdom by obeying His laws, they will be eternally happy, God willing.
[Reprinted from Sep 90 SP]