A Submitter’s Journey to Submission

Cont’d from page 3

These serious problems along with all the atrocities committed in God's name both then and throughout history, made me not only reject Christianity, but God wholesale. You could say that I threw out the baby with the bathwater.

I remained a staunch atheist for many years, not simply denying God, but also mocking those that chose to believe.  I said many times that they were creating fairy tales to help them cope with a confusing and disturbing world (many such disturbances caused in God's name in the first place!) and to help make death a little less scary. I did read the Bible frequently though and loved to discuss theology. Most of these years were pretty average years but then I went into a bit of a self destructive decline. I put myself at extreme risk, placed my loyalty and trust in people that were really not very good people.  I say without exaggeration that many times over I should have been dead or worse (yes there are worse things....). 
It is really rather frightening thinking back.  Because I had a sincere desire to help less than righteous people I was bled dry financially.  I had to make use of the Food Bank in order to eat and pay my bills....but still lost the phone. Yet through all of this it seemed "someone" was watching over me, protecting me from serious physical harm and abject poverty. The most amazing thing of all though was that at the times of greatest financial need cheques would "magically" appear in my mail....without my having asked for them!  Most from my mother, one from the insurance for my car (odd since I had already received their

cheque....this was a bonus!), and one from a woman that I didn't even know but that my mother had been talking to.  It became obvious to me that possibly God was responsible for this protection and care.  I wasn't even close to welcoming Him back, but in the interest of honesty I had to label myself agnostic. 

An agnostic I remained for many more years....until about 5 months ago. The chain of events leading me back to God is so ridiculous.... It makes me suspect that He has a sense of humor. It started with Corner Gas.  I kid you not. A Canadian sitcom about nothing really, set in the middle of nowhere.  It is about the only show that I watched at the time and one of the episodes was about a book club. The main book they were reading was Life of Pi, an adventure story about a little boy trapped on a lifeboat with a tiger. Of course I wanted to read it and halfway through I found God again.  I am still a bit shocked since I was expecting a bit of escapist fiction, an adventure story. At no time did I even suspect to find God, and of the millions of Canadian books to choose from the show chose that one in particular? I began to talk to Him again, although I tended to simply talk to Him, not formally pray.  One line in Life of Pi in particular grabbed my attention.

“I challenge anyone to understand Islam, its spirit, and not to love it. It is a beautiful religion of brotherhood and devotion.”

I remember rolling my eyes and saying to myself "yeah brotherhood is right.  It's a man's only club where women are only there to produce sons to propagate the faith.  If you had been a girl this guy wouldn't have even spoke to you."  Nevertheless I decided to take the protagonist up on his challenge.  I purchased my Qur'an as a direct

result of reading Life of Pi.  Halfway through the Qur'an I knew that I had found Truth. There were parts where I literally wept. I didn't make a formal statement to God that I was going to embrace Islam until I finished the Qur'an in full. I also wanted to verify a few odd verses here and there. I had already rejected one faith (and God) because I had serious issues with the fundamentals. I was not about to make the same mistake again.  By the grace of God, He placed a friend in my path that told me about the Mathematical Miracle (He also lent me Life of Pi, apparently I didn't buy it quickly enough!). The Mathematical Miracle, as well as the rest of the content on your site and submission.org cleared up any remaining doubts I had that Islam was the straight path and that the Qur'an alone was truth. The lost sheep it seemed had found its way back. All because of a Canadian sitcom and a Canadian adventure story!

The one thing that boggles my mind the most is that God protected me through years of disbelief and disrespect to His followers. Not only that, He led me back to Him and to the only true path. He could have left me to suffer severe harm, go farther astray and finally consign me to the Fire.  He does not guide the wrongdoers.... but He does lead astray who He wishes and guides who He wishes.  Obviously He saw something worth redeeming....and in the long run knowing He was there with me then, when I was committing the grossest sin of all, only strengthens my faith now.  How can I possibly dispute a proof such as that?

Thank you for reading my ramblings and please continue your good works.

Jennifer/Canada