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should be kind. We don’t want to fall under: [2:44] Do you exhort the people to be righteous, while forgetting yourselves, though you read the scripture? Do you not understand?
We also have good examples of kind people in the Quran: Abraham is described as being “extremely kind” (11:75), and John as one endowed with “kindness” (19:13).
So, what does kindness mean? We all have some idea about it. Different dictionaries define it in slightly different (but generally similar) ways:
“of a sympathetic or helpful nature” www.merriam-webster.com
“generous, helpful, and thinking about other people's feelings”
dictionary.cambridge.org
“Kindness is a type of behavior marked by acts of generosity, consideration, or concern for others, without expecting praise or reward.”
wikipedia.org/wiki/Kindness
Based on these definitions, God is the Most Kind, Most Merciful! He gave us this chance when no one else would. He gives every human being this planet with fresh air, water and all these resources and provisions. Our hearing, eyesight and brains. And rarely are we appreciative. While we can never ever compare to God, God willing, we can try to be kind.
We can be helpful, generous, sympathetic, considerate, do good to others without expecting any reward.
God says to be kind to our parents (Quran 17:24). Also, we are to be kind when helping orphans (Quran 4:5) and more generally when being charitable (Quran 2:263, 24:22). With charity, we see a link with the Wikipedia definition of “without expecting praise or reward”: [76:8] They donate their favorite food to the poor, the orphan, and the captive.
[76:9] "We feed you for the sake of GOD; we expect no reward from you, nor thanks.
While we expect nothing in return for kindness, God in His infinite mercy gives us worldly benefits for being kind. The research in psychology shows that it’s good for our health to be kind.
[24:22] Those among you who are blessed with resources and wealth shall be charitable towards their relatives, the poor, and those who have immigrated for the sake of GOD. They shall treat them with kindness and tolerance; do you not love to attain GOD's forgiveness? GOD is Forgiver, Most Merciful.
God says to treat people with kindness and tolerance. And this is followed by how we love to attain God’s forgiveness. This could mean different things. It may refer to the fact that charity (and good works in general) helps us wipe out or remit sins (2:271, 11:114). And it may also be that we have to forgive the annoying things a person does and still be kind and tolerant and charitable.
[2:263] Kind words and compassion are better than a charity that is followed by insult. GOD is Rich, Clement.
Perhaps we can step back and ask, “What is my test here?” Am I choosing the difficult path that God wants me to choose with being charitable and steadfast and kind? Am I setting an example where people can say, “Oh look that’s how submitters act versus those who don’t have the faith.” And choosing God and pleasing God—we know will bring us happiness. While choosing to get annoyed and thinking about all the ways the world could act differently may not bring us peace of mind or happiness.
Speaking of peace of mind and happiness, research in psychology indicates that kindness is linked to happiness. And it’s both charity and kind words and even watching others be kind or being the recipient of kindness. All of that leads to increased happiness and improved relations with others. Thank You God.
In this world, science is slowly catching up with the Quran.
What does research in psychology say about kindness? Let’s look at some examples.
Kindness boosts happiness
A 2019 paper reported on how people felt after performing or observing kind acts every day for seven days. Participants were randomly assigned to carry out at least one more kind act than usual for someone close to them, an acquaintance or stranger, or themselves, or to try to actively observe kind acts. Happiness was measured before and after the seven days of kindness. The researchers found that being kind to ourselves or to anyone else — yes, even a stranger — or actively observing kindness around us boosted happiness.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-heart-and-science-of-kindness-2019041816447
Positive psychology activities (including Kindness, counting blessings, keeping a gratitude journal or doing gratitude visits) improves well-being and happiness and reduces depression up to 6 months after cessation of the “activity”. A quote from one of the articles follows.
In the past two decades, the positive psychology movement has yielded an unprecedented growth of empirical investigations into advancing optimal human functioning and improving well-being (Fowler, Seligman, & Koocher, 1999; Lyubomirsky & Layous, 2013). At the forefront of this research is the examination of tools and techniques to enhance individual strengths and qualities and encourage positive mental health and happiness. This body of work has instigated the development of positive psychology activities (PPAs). A plethora of research has found that engaging in PPAs, including counting one’s blessings (Froh, Sefick, & Emmons, 2008; Seligman, Steen, Park, & Peterson, 2005), gratitude visits/journals (Emmons & McCullough, 2003) and acts of kindness (Buchanan & Bardi, 2010), significantly increases various outcomes of well-being and happiness and reduces depressive symptoms compared to control activities.
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